"Damaging our Culture"

"Swearing Now The Blight Of Britain" squawks the Daily Express, both online and from the newsstands.

Within the very first paragraph of this "report" comes the admission that "the vast majority" of Brits actually couldn't give a flying fuck.

Yes, folks; the single biggest problem facing Britain today, doesn't affect the vast majority of us. The offended parties freely admit that they're in a tiny minority.

You might think you're having trouble paying the mortgage, or that your job is insecure. You might worry if you'll ever get on the housing ladder, now that it appears to be a greased pole. You could even be a bit concerned about our foreign wars, third-world public transport provision, or illiterate university students.

Well, open your eyes, you fools! Esther Rantzen is not happy! We're all heading for fire & brimstone with our potty-mouthed ways, and that's the real issue!

The Daily Express. We stand for being clueless twats.